It really sucks that in the past 4 years, I’ve given my whole entire heart to two people and they’ve walked away from me entirely.

Today is the first day in months that I haven’t wished for you at 11:11.

It felt great.

You were in the process of fixing me, and you just left me out of nowhere. Now I’m even more broken than before.

“And just so you know, I care so much about you. So if you ever think that you need something serious, let me know. I’m never like this. I don’t open up so easily and I never would. But you’ve done something to me. I can’t help it. You give me comfort that i didnt think id find so soon. Sorry for being so honest. But i feel like if I don’t say anything at all, I’ll never have the opportunity to explain how I feel about you. And I know you don’t wanna get into anything right now. But I’d rather have your arms around me every weekend than nothing at all. And that’s perfectly fine with me. “

I wrote this down one night after a long night of drinking and a deep conversation with you. I planned on sending it to you, but I couldn’t find the right moment to do it. And now I’ve lost that opportunity, and that’s exactly what I didn’t want. I’m sorry for getting drunk and saying the things I said. I’m sorry for getting so mad at you when you don’t give me the attention I want. And I’m sorry for giving you everything I had and being so naive. I gave you far too much, and you took it all for granted. I opened my heart in hopes you would do the same. After feeling so incredibly broken from my past, I thought you could fill the hole that was there. And you did temporarily. But that’s not what I wanted. I expected far too much out of you. I lost my best friend out of this whole experience. Sometimes I start to wonder what you’re doing on Friday and Saturday nights, and then I have to stop because the possibilities are far too painful for me to even think about. I just hope you’re happy, I care too much to hate you. And I wish you felt the same, but it’s clear to me that you don’t, because you refuse to give me the time of day. So from the bottom of my heart, I’m sorry, and I hope nothing but the best for you and your future.